Seasons
by H. Black
Summary: A four part story revolving around Leah and the seasons of the year! My first story ever on here so please read!
1. Fall

Seasons

Leah Clearwater can find something to hate about every season of the year. They all held a terrible memory or two. Then again, maybe it was just a really happy memory she wanted to forget.

Fall

_2009- The Wedding_

Fall was when Sam and Emily got married. It made sense really. Fall was all about the colors. The reds, the yellows, the oranges, and the browns. It reminded Leah of the woods and russet outdoors. It reminded Emily of that, too. It also reminded them of the wolves their lives revolved around.

So during the fall she watched her best friend marry the love of _her_ life. Oh, and Emily. Emily looked like a princess even with the purplish scars trailing down her face. Her creamy white dress flowed beautifully and accented her tanned skin beautifully. The chocolate colored dresses on the girls contrasted perfectly as well. Leah looked just as beautiful, if not more so, standing in the Maid of Honors spot. She stood there as people stared, with a look of pity in their eyes, but Leah held her head high. The wolf girl had too much pride to let people see her with her head hung down. She was over that. She was above it.

Not only did the dresses match the season the decorations did as well. Leaves in the colors of autumn garnished the tables. It was beautiful. Even Leah couldn't deny that. So she ate without tasting the food. She danced with her pack brothers without hearing the music. And when the time came she raised a toast to Sam and Emily's happy life without a bit of remorse. After that came an even harder moment; Having to congratulate the newlyweds as they left for their wedding night. She squeezed Emily's hands and wiped a tear from her face. She hugged Sam and kissed him on the cheek. Without a hint of malice in her voice she told them, "You're perfect for each other. I know your live will be like a fairytale." And she meant it. Emily was the mother the pack needed and the one Leah couldn't be.

But something broke inside Leah and she excused herself. She slipped off her shoes and left them in the dirt. In the covering of the dark woods she lifted off her dress and phased. The packs were taking jibes at Sam and Emily and she would be left to her thoughts. Thoughts about how this day should have been. Thoughts about how it might have been.

Then she tries to forget but she can't. Even in the woods she's reminded off the wedding. It's in the colors of fall.


	2. Winter

Winter

_2011- The Baby_

Winters in Washington State were harsh. They were cold and left snow and ice everywhere. But Leah ran a temperature of 107.8 these days and snow melted where ever she went. She wanted to feel the cold and for her cheek to get flushed the color of cherries because of it. So badly she wanted someone else to snuggle up to for warmth.

But all Leah had was cheap cigarettes and a broken heart. So she kept out of the way. Her mother and brother tried to make the best out of Christmas. With Harry gone and Leah lost to the world it was difficult but they tried. It hurt Leah to watch them try. She wanted to make it easier for them but she couldn't.

She found herself on the porch. Scowling at the snow drifts falling. That scowl was a permanent mark on her once pretty face. Now she just looked mean and made little kids cry. That hurt her too. Especially seeing kids so upset at Christmas time. Perhaps she should have been nicer to the little brats when she was in the toy shop buying a present for Claire.

It was hard to be around all the pretty little babies though. She knew she'd probably never have them and it nagged at a part of her heart she'd never really thought about before. Sure, once upon a time at Christmas time she and Sam talked about the traditions they'd keep. The ones kept for their kids to make the holidays special. Like opening one gift on Christmas Eve after visiting Sam's mother. Saving the rest for the next morning when Leah would cook a huge breakfast for her family before heading to her mothers' house.

The thoughts broke off when a car door slammed. It brought her rushing back towards a painful reality. It was them. Sam and Emily. Gods gift to the pack and his innocent little wifey.

Sam was as handsome as ever. If not aged some due to the former responsibilities of running the pack. Now he was aging again. Finally Leah got it. It was Emily. She was..she was glowing. That perfect maternal glow you hear people talk about. Emily had it.

They looked ecstatic but slightly ashamed. Ashamed for living. Ashamed for hurting her. And for some odd reason that made Leah feel guilty. So she placed a hand on Emily's belly and smiled at them. She told them their fairytale was coming true. She left out the part about her own unraveling.

Old memories swarmed her again. She thought about that little child with her smile and Sam's big brown eyes. It hurt. She felt it stab her somewhere deep inside. Leah only felt guilty again as she had the urge to rip the other side of Emily's face off.

But she just smiled. Leah got good at lying that winter.


	3. Spring

Spring

_Freshman Year- 2002- Meeting_

Leah remembered being so scared about starting high school. Her dad told her not to be. She was hard to handle. He'd always said so. He worried about the hearts of those boys. She'd be like a wrecking ball coming into their lives. She'd break hearts. After all Leah Clearwater was _beautiful_. But she still didn't know what he was on about. It was just the Rez school with the same boys she'd known her whole life. Harry still had a sparkle in his eyes when he pushed her out the front door.

Seven months after that day it was Spring and Leah had her first real boyfriend. She didn't know how she ever missed it. Sam Uley was gorgeous. Not to mention the sweetest boy she'd ever met. He was so kind and loving. Those first few months together were full of amazing things. Wide smiles, intertwined hands, and the first long kiss on the second date.

They rode in his truck on weekends and snuck out to do the same thing during the week. But it was still so innocent. And that's why Leah knew it was perfect. It wasn't rushed and quick. They let love come to them. At first they never said it. They would just tell each other how wonderful they were and happy they'd met..Even though they'd known each other since infancy.

Leah never felt pressured around him and she liked that. She liked that he wasn't like other boys. She liked feeling safe and secure in his arms. She liked the way her head fit perfectly into the crook of his shoulder, so that he could rest his cheek on the top of her head. She liked the way he'd pick her up and spin her around while planting a gentle kiss on her lips. Leah loved how he tasted minty and woodsy. She'd never kissed another boy so she wasn't sure if they all tasted like that but she was certain Sam was one of a kind.

Even during that first season Leah knew he was the one and that he would always be the one. There was no denying it for her. In a perfect world she and Sam were meant for each other.

_Sophomore Year-2003- Firsts_

Leah remembered the day she decided she loved Sam Uley. It was exactly eleven months and two days ago. Every second was beautiful and blissful. Full of love and the joy they brought to the others live.

Leah remembered when she decided she'd give everything to Sam Uley. Her heart, her soul, herself. He already had most of it.

But she decided she'd let it happen on its own and one night it did. She remembers it as if it were yesterday. They were sitting on the beach and watching the tide roll in. He looked her in the eyes and promised her forever. He told her one day they'd get married and have beautiful babies and sit next to each other in rocking chairs on an old front porch.

So she kissed him. She threw herself into that kiss. It was full of passion, love, need, and lust. She'd never felt like this before. But she knew she wanted him.

It was an age old dance. Although they'd never been this far before their bodies knew it. And it was perfect.

Things finally made since to Leah. She was a girl and he was a boy. And they were different. Oh so different. But yet they were corresponding puzzle pieces. She finally understood why they were made the way they were.

He held that part of her life. A part of her past she couldn't go back and reclaim. Every Spring she remembers it and every spring she can't bring herself to regret the day she met him or that night.


	4. Summer

Summer

_Junior Year_

Summer was when Sam left me. Summer was when he came back. Summer was when he left again. But I didn't know it was because he was a wolf obviously. I didn't know he was the one who shredded by beautiful cousins face. I didn't know that all of this was above me.

"Leah, I…can't," Sam said. His voice was so full of pain. It hurt me.

"You can. We can. We can make this work," Leah pleaded.

But Sam shook his head. "I'm tired of pretending, Leah."

With that he took a step towards her, he kissed her one last time as she stood frozen. And then one last time he told her he'd always love her.

After that Sam ran off with Leah's cousin. They bought this little house on the outside of town and fixed it up. The house Leah always told Sam she wanted. So obviously if Leah wanted it, Emily got it.

During Summer the last pieces of Leah's heart fell from each other. It was shattered and broken. No one could fix it. No one even tried. What do you say when Gods gift to the tribe breaks your daughters heart? If you're Sue Clearwater you defend your niece. If you're Harry Clearwater you suffer in silence. Because they know the truth.

But to Leah its like everyone in her world betrayed her that summer.

_2012- Healing_

Emily's baby came early. It wasn't supposed to come until August. But she came early. Leah planned to hate that little baby. That little baby that Sam and Emily made. It was all the babies fault. The baby would carry the wolf gene and no child of Leah's could do that obviously or else Sam would have imprinted on her.

Leah was at the hospital though. She was there when Sam almost had a melt down about losing his daughter or wife because she was two months early. For the first time in years Leah was there to comfort Sam. She put a hand on his shoulder. She let him cry it all out without feeling sorry for him.

It's what she wished people would've have done when she was heartbroken. Not for them to say sorry but for them to try and make it better, try and make it bearable. Leah did for Sam what he never did for her.

Sam forced Leah into the room to see that baby after she was born. Leah was going to hate her. She was going to say mean things about her. Call it names. Say it looked like and alien. But then she saw the tiny baby with the little pink socks.

And she couldn't hate such a helpless child. So tiny and precious. The baby did have Sam's eyes and the smile Emily had before the scars.

"Susannah Lee.." Emily whispered as Leah stared at the baby.

"For your mother and you," Sam told her. "We'd like you to be her godmother..I know..I know life didn't turn out like any of us planned..but we're all still family. I know pack life is hard for you Leah.."

Sam didn't know but for once Leah let him keep talking.

"But Emily still loves you and I do too. We want you around."

That was the hard part of it for Leah. They wanted her around and she wanted to be around. But not as the ex-girlfriend. That was awkward and that hurt. She didn't hate them. She couldn't hate them even when she tried to.

Leah was going to tell them to go to hell and storm out of the room like the drama queen she could be, but she stole another glance at the baby.

Life replaces life and life fixes life. Somehow in the miracle of this baby making it through a rough pregnancy and being born early Leah found strength for herself. You can't give up in this world and you can't rely on other people to fix your messes for you, even if they are the ones who made them.

"Can I hold her?" Leah asked, smiling.

Right there in that hospital room Leah promised she'd try harder. To be a better friend. To be a better daughter. To be a better sister. To be an amazing godmother. She'd also try harder to ensure that she got her own happily ever after.

For Leah things didn't come easy. She'd have to fight but fate was making her strong enough to handle it.


	5. Authors Note

Authors Note:

Someone pointed out that it almost seemed like Leah imprinted on the baby. Well, obviously the baby Is a girl and Leah is a girl, and you imprint so you can produce the next generation of wolves. So that's not what happened. For me sometimes just seeing the miracle of new life gives you a different take and stance on things and seeing the baby born and knowing that something that little had to fight made Leah sort of..straighten her act up. I know it wasn't great but it was my first story and I appreciate everyone that read it and reviewed!


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